On Anniversaries and Progress: 2013

Oh boy...it's been a hot minute since I posted!  As I sat down a few days ago to give my two year old and me a fresh pedicure, I realized just how hectic life has been.  I was long overdue for that pedicure, and the TEN loads of laundry I washed, dried, folded, and put away last weekend were a huge reminder of the state of my household:  chaotic and messy!  But, 'tis the season, and the reason for the season: Jesus,  love, and loving your neighbor!  I spent time with family and friends, I got away on a little vacation with extended family, I made holiday treats, and of course, I spent time selecting a few gifts for some very special people in my life.  I've also stayed active, lifting and doing yoga, but I'll be honest -  I didn't find an activity to do for Fueled by Faith in December.   I didn't have a lot of time, and I did my best to balance my life.  At the end of the day, I did pretty well with that, and that is a huge victory for me.

Today is a special day for me.  It marks exactly one year since I began training with my current coach, Layne Norton.  I found out on December 6th that I was going to be working with him, but between him needing my information and my hesitancy to start (and stick with) something so new to me - counting macros and flexible dieting - my first official day "on-plan" was December 29, 2012.  

You might have noticed I said I "found out" I was going to be working with Layne.  I didn't actually hire Layne.   If you want my honest opinion of how our partnership came to be, my answer is simple:  it was  God thing.

I have done every single one of my preps on my own, with the exception of USAs in the summer of 2012.  I had briefly hired a coach early in 2012, but I realized quickly it was a mistake.  We didn't see eye to eye on training methodologies, and I couldn't sell out to him - I didn't trust him with my body.  After winding down my 2012 competition season, though, I knew I needed someone I could trust.  I never got too crazy with cardio or nutrition, but I did do some of the things I cringe at now - 90 minutes of steady state cardio 3+ times a week, ridiculously low carbs, lifting lighter, no sodium, "clean" eating.  I have learned the error of my ways!  I digress.  My metabolism wasn't trashed but I wasn't on a good path, and balance was a thing of the past.  Eat/binge cycles, gaining ridiculous weight in the offseason, a horrible relationship with my body image and food - it had to stop.

I actually applied for a few sponsorships, and checked out a few coaches locally who I knew employed flexible dieting/IIFYM/balanced approaches, but I never found the right fit.  Of course, everything was prayerfully considered.  I remember being disappointed when I wasn't selected for the sponsorship.  I remember the words I prayed both before and after the winners were announced, and I remember being hugely disappointed.

Not long after that, on a forum for female physique athletes, a friend of mine posted that she was giving away a ten week nutrition and training program with Layne.  Now, obviously I knew who Layne was.  You  had to live under a rock to not know this guy.  But I didn't feel worthy of his services, and I had never even considered hiring him.  For crying out loud, this guy had worked with Ava Cowan.  I have her freakin' poster in my bathroom as motivation!  I didn't feel like I was of the caliber and quality of athlete that Layne freakin' Norton would work with.   I didn't put my bid out in the thread on the topic, because I felt like it was such a small chance.  I did email the woman doing the giveaway to tell her how selfless she was being, and privately I told her what a good opportunity it would be for someone and told her I wanted it.  In the end, I was given the ten weeks.  It changed my life forever.  I don't think that woman - Staci - or Layne realize just blessed I was by that decision.  It was a God thing.

I compared my progress photos a few weeks ago - the ones I started with and the most current ones.  I'm not fond of sharing pictures of myself in less-than-stage condition, but I know it definitely interests the reader.  Here they are, side-by-side:

The first photo was taken 1/4/13, just a few days after starting with Layne, and the second was taken 11/28/13, my most recent progress pic.

There have been times in my journey where I felt discouraged, disappointed, and a failure.  Most recently, when I wasn't able to squat and having put on more weight than I expected post-show, I had all but given up in my heart.  In fact, as I looked at my life in general, I didn't achieve the things I expected to or even wind up close to where I'd anticipated - not in my business, not in my ministry, not in bodybuilding.

These pictures, though - they changed my perspective.  I HAVE improved.  I have lats!  I have a booty!  I have shape, I'm leaner, and I learned so much.

It's funny to me that so many people think they need to obtain self discipline or motivation to begin taking care of their bodies.  The truth is, the physical training has not only strengthened my body, it's strengthened my mind.  If I had never worked with Layne, I wouldn't have been able to find balance again.  It takes work, and there are times when it's anything but easy - but I have managed to strike a balance between motherhood, marriage, work, ministry, play, and my passion - bodybuilding.  As I look back on my  year, I know that this was all part of God's incredible plan.  I know that all the things Layne has taught me - the greatest of which is balance - are preparing me for even greater things.   I'm not looking for perfection, I just want to make progress.  I'm not afraid of setbacks, only of not standing up after I fall.  I no longer battle the woman in the mirror.  I love her, and I appreciate all of her glorious strengths and weaknesses.  (For more empowering, motivational stuff, you have to visit my teammate Brooke's facebook page.  It's good stuff!)

When I began this journey, I saw myself as a fitness role model and athlete with great faith and Christian values.  My goals were shaped around this, my plans where formed on this basis - but as I sit here, writing this now, I know in my heart I was so short-sighted.  Today, I know in my heart that someday, I want to be a minister.  I don't know where, or to whom I will minister - I just know that I will.  I love people.  I have a heart for women, and my passion is fitness.  A year ago, I only saw that as physical wellness - but today, I view health and fitness as a whole - mind, body, and spirit.    My business has direction.  My ministry has direction.  I am not where I expected to be, but I have made progress, and I have clearer vision and direction about where I'm going.  I realize I'm in preparation for something incredible, and time spent in preparation is never time wasted.

In the past year, I've gained the knowledge and guidance I need to achieve my bodybuilding goals...but I've also gained so much more than that.   I have the drive and fortitude to step out and go confidently after the things of my heart, to pursue the things that make my heart pound and start the whispers of doubt.   This ministry thing - it's one of those things that creates whispers of doubt.  Before I accepted Jesus, I didn't make good decisions.  I wasn't the person I am today.  I know that people who knew the woman I was will doubt I truly am the woman I've become.  The woman the critics and doubters knew...she would have wavered in her belief of herself and not pursued the desires of her heart.  The woman I am and the woman I'm becoming - she isn't afraid.  I've grabbed hold of that fear and tossed it aside.  I'm moving confidently - BOLDLY - in the direction of my future and dreams in 2014.

Today, on the anniversary of a seemingly small change in my life, I'm thankful.  I'm thankful to God for his blessings and his ways, which are greater than mine, and I'm thankful to Jesus for the gift of salvation and for creating in me a pure heart.  I'm also incredibly thankful to Layne - for teaching me to pursue my goals confidently, for helping me believe in myself, and for restoring balance.

There are lots of changes comes.  Look for new blog entries here, soon!, and changes to my facebook page to keep you up to date.  Until then...

TRAIN HARD - LIFT HEAVY - FUEL YOUR BODY - FEED YOUR FAITH

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The Fruit of Expectation

Not too many entries ago, in my entry titled Silver Linings, I wrote that God had used the time that I was sick to revitalize my spirit and free me from the chains of my own expectations.

I also confessed recently that my mind and my body are usually in go-go-go mode, keeping me from being fully present and aware and BLESSED by each moment.    I confessed that yoga had helped me find my center and calm, to be fully present in the moment and what I'm doing - it helped me figure out how to stop my mind's endless activity and just be.

I don't know if you, the reader, fully grasp how difficult mono was, and still is, for me!  It took what yoga did for me, mentally, on a small scale, and impressed it upon me large-scale - physically.   The two weeks I spent as a virtual fixture of my own couch were rough.  I was forced to lean on God.  The busy-ness of my life ceased.  I did only what I needed to do, whether it was my business, my lifegroup, my family and friends.  I was exhausted easily and napped frequently.  I battle anxiety, and it can be especially bad when I don't have the opportunity to be physically active.   Even now, weeks later, I still have days where I'm just wiped out - zero energy - and I feel horrible because nothing around my house gets done, client updates go unread, and workouts are missed.

I was battling a case of the post comp blues when I got sick, and that lead balloon that sank my heart - that mono diagnosis - was certainly not helping improve my attitude.  I saw piles of laundry and dishes as a testament to how horrible my housekeeping skills were.  I was irritated I couldn't run the errands and be as efficient at knocking tasks off my to-do list as I usually was.  I was disappointed I couldn't do the little things I take pride in doing for others.  I was angry - no, PISSED - that I couldn't work out.   All of those negative emotions added up in a big way and began to change the way I saw myself - how I valued myself and where I found my worth.

One day last week, in frustration, I was pleading my case before God.  I was tired of being sick and without energy.  I missed the gym.   I missed my life.  And most importantly, I was letting people down.

"Who are you letting down?"  

As plain as day, I saw the thought in my mind.  I finished my prayers, but I got my journal back out and wrote a few thoughts down, including that phrase.  I came back to it several times over the course of the day, and now, reading through my journal, I can see that I prayed about it quite a bit, too.  

It was just this past Friday that I realized I was the only one with expectations of me.  My husband hadn't expected a clean house or me to surprise him with dinner.  My little girl was content to be curled up on the couch reading books all day, and my clients and lifegroup sisters were content with the effort I could give them.  My coach wasn't upset with me that I couldn't get in a workout.  I had been shown mercy and compassion at every step.  It was my own expectations that created feelings of disappointment or discouragement, and it is my own expectations that hold me back in so many other areas of my life.  I have found myself discouraged because I expected things to go a certain way; I have found myself angry because I expected other people to behave differently than they did; I have been disappointed because I expected to receive things I didn't.  

The fruit of expectation is disappointment - in fact, I believe disappointment grows in the space between expected outcomes and actual outcomes. (For you math junkies, like me, that looks like this:  Perceived/expected outcome - actual outcome = DISAPPOINTMENT.)  I expected to transition to my offseason plan without much weight gain and with heavy squatting again.  I am by no means even close to overweight, but I haven't stayed as lean as I'd hoped, and I'm just now doing body weight squats without pain.  That certainly created some disappointment for me.  When I was sick, I took the time to look over my goals from last year, and I can say that out of the 10 or so I set, I only met three.  At first glance, I was frustrated because I expected to achieve my goal - 3 out of ten ain't great, ya'll.  If you're a math junkie, too, you know that's 30%.  I get upset with myself when I lose my temper with Kenna.  "She's only two, Felicia...way to teach your toddler love and compassion."  I expect myself to be a better wife.  I get angry and I lose my cool - like every human on earth does at one point in their lifetime - but I expect more of myself, and that unmet expectation breeds shame.  

Proverbs 16:9 in the GNT reads "You may make your plans, but God directs your actions."  In the NLT it is written, "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."  

What an incredible reminder.  God has a plan for me, but I can't see it.  I'm very guilty of being given a glimpse of my future - of His wonderful plan for me - and running wildly ahead of Him, of getting out of His will and plans.  I can make my plans, but God directs my steps.  He knows where He is taking me, and His plan is always better than anything I'm capable of doing on my own.   

I've learned two very important things in the past few weeks.  The first is that expectation - like all things in life - isn't a bad thing or a good thing.  It simply is what it is.  As I looked back over my 2013 goals, most of them unmet, I realized that although I didn't earn IFBB pro status...I learned a lot about myself, I found a new passion for competing, and I found a federation where I feel I finally fit and I can have fun.  As a wise man named Garth once sang, "thank God for unanswered prayers!"  If I'm so set on achieving and fulfilling my expectations for my life that I'm not open to other ideas or new goals, one of two things are going to happen.  

1.  I'm going to miss out on the incredible plan God has for me.  

2.  I'm going to create and foster negative feelings about who I am and where my worth comes from.

I don't know about you, but sometimes the fruit of expectation was bitter for me.  The awesome truth, though, is that it doesn't have to be that way!  I'm ready to harvest different fruits, and that means letting go of my own expectations and trusting God.  It means being constantly aware of who I am, WHOSE I am, and what my purpose is.  

The other very important lesson I learned stems from the yoga.  I believe when God presents us with a lesson repeatedly, it's important.  Take note.  Share about what it taught you so that others might find comfort in what you've learned.  Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians, "He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.  When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us" (1:4 NLT).  One of the things God revealed to me over and over, beginning with the yoga class, is that I have to slow down.  Enjoy life.  Stop the thought trains, stop the activity, and just be.  I've been spending a lot of time doing it and it's made me lighter on my feet.  It's brought peace to me.  It's good for the soul and the spirit.  I am worthy because of who I am in Christ, not because of performance and certainly not because of perfection.  Being able to find peace and joy in simply being drove that lesson home for me.  Part of the reason for the delay of this entry was I just felt silly sharing all of this...but I read through Corinthians the other day, and I was convicted.  If He has comforted me through this lesson - then surely I must share so others might be comforted. 

Until next time...

TRAIN HARD - LIFT HEAVY - FUEL YOUR BODY - FEED YOUR FAITH

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My inner yogini

Now that you know why I disappeared, I'm sure you'll be merciful when I tell you that I didn't do a whole lot of anything while I was sick.  I certainly didn't get my weekly yoga practicing in!

If you remember, I'm doing the Fueled by Faith challenge: I pick a new physical activity that I've never tried each month, and I commit doing whatever each month's activity is at least once a week.  I started in October with an at-home yoga DVD.  That escalated to a standing weekly yoga date with my future-yoga-instructor friend Janie.  (We started up again this week, for the record.)  Somehow, she and I decided we were going to take a hot yoga class.  A real hot yoga class.   I've never taken ANY real, full-length class, not even a  regular yoga class...and here I was, talking about hot yoga.

We picked a studio that had a good time for both of us and committed to going.  The classes at the particular studio we selected include a series of 26 different poses performed either once (60 minute session) or twice (90 minutes session) in a 105 degree studio.  We decided on the sixty minute class since neither of us was  sure we had the endurance to last 90 minutes in 105 degrees.  Truthfully, I wasn't sure I had the flexibility for 26 poses or the endurance for 60 minutes, but I was going to give it my best shot.  It scared me a little.  That meant I had to.  Faith > fear, remember?

The morning of, I had a coffee date with my bff Krystine, and I roped her into going with Janie and me.  We went, and we enjoyed it!! It was tough at first - the heat was heavy and took some getting used to.  Janie and I looked at each other with a "yea, right" glance when the instructor told us that after having done hot yoga, we would never want to do yoga any other way.  I was sweating instantly, and when I sweat, there's nothing lady-like about me.  My towel was soaked through, as was my hair and clothing.  I was amazed at not only how I was able to do most of the poses - I mean, I'm shocked at what my body could do!! - but how I truly didn't notice anybody but myself in the room.  One of my huge fears of fitness classes is that others will watch me or see that I'm not good at something.  People really don't notice that you look like a madwoman when you're doing your burpees or that you make funny faces when you lift heavy weight or that you modified that pose because your leg just does not got that direction.  -_-   It was uncomfortable for me at first, staring at my body in the mirror for so long - I was very self-conscious of my form, of my flexibility, and of my body in general.  I didn't expect that - to be uncomfortable watching myself in the mirror - but within 20 minutes, that discomfort had vanished as I was impressed, again and again, at the power, balance, and strength of my body.  

More than anything, though, I was astonished at how I was able to stop thinking and just be for most of that 60 minutes.  I have a very active mind.  It's often hard for me to slow down and enjoy the moment.  If I'm resting, I'm usually thinking about what I need to do tomorrow, about this client or that workout or this message or that text or cooking dinner.  In my training, I recently found myself in a place where I saw each workout as a step from point A (where I was) to point B (achieving my physique and competing goals).   Living that way takes the joy out of each moment.  Those sixty minutes of yoga were so freeing - from thoughts, worries, from life - just breathing and movement.   At the end of class, the instructor opened a door that allowed cool air into the room to dance across our sweaty bodies as we lay on our backs.  My back and legs felt amazingly stretched out and loose, better than any sports therapy message. It was incredible.  I fell in love with hot yoga during the first class.   I will probably practice yoga at least once a week for the rest of my life.

I haven't been back yet, but I'm planning to go again with Janie over Christmas break.  The three of us still laugh and giggle about the experience and how great it was.   I conquered a fear, forged tighter bonds with my sisters in Christ, and found my inner peace and yogini.  Faith is definitely the best fuel for life.

As far as my Fueled by Faith challenge, I decided to stick with yoga for the month of October and November.  I'm picking a new activity for December soon, and need suggestions!!  Feel free to share yours!

Until next time....

TRAIN HARD - LIFT HEAVY - FUEL YOUR BODY - FEED YOUR FAITH

Silver Linings

It's been a wild ride for me these past few weeks.  I know my blogs have been pretty well nonexistent, so thanks for sticking with me if you have, and if you're new...Welcome!!

Midway through October, I got sick.  I couldn't kick it - it kept me down a week and I just wasn't getting any better, and my throat was killing me.  After a doctor's visit and some labwork, I was diagnosed with mono.  I knew I had been tired, but I wasn't sleeping as much, I had a lot of obligations, and in general, life was a  little hectic - so I dismissed being tired as a lifestyle factor.   What I didn't know about mono until that day is that it actually causes inflammation of your spleen, and in order to keep it from bursting, I was ordered no contact sports and no heavy lifting - iron or otherwise.

Now, if I'm being honest, I was already in a little funk.  A lot of women struggle with "post comp blues", for various reasons, and I'm one of them.  I don't suffer terribly from it, but there is usually a two week period where I struggle to find new balance.  Training volume usually decreases, and I have to find new ways to fill my time and rebalance my schedule; you do come down from all those endorphins eventually, and when you do, after the excitement wears off and you don't have another goal to pursue or chase, you find yourself...a little blue.  I'm still unable to squat, and that frustrates me.  I enjoy squatting.  I enjoy heavy lifting.  And I expect to be able to do it.  Modified training is hard - don't get me wrong, I'm not taking away from the intensity of what I'm currently doing, but it just isn't the same for me.  And I expect more of my body than to be injured and remain that way for so long, especially with proper care and treatment.   It was a disappointing start to my offseason, to say the least.

The news that I couldn't lift caused my disappointment-heavy heart to sink faster than a lead balloon.   I expect to be able to workout - I mean, even if I can't squat, a workout is a workout!  And my workout is my outlet for aggression, my endorphin-boosting attitude adjustment, my frustration killer.  It's the only thing I've ever found to curb my anxiety.   And I wouldn't be able to for ten days, minimum - but maybe even longer.

Needless to say, I was a little worried.  Being physically inactive makes me restless, irritable, and anxious.  Not real pleasant for my little family, and not a happy way to exist.  I went home that afternoon from the doctor and took up residence on the couch.  Over the next two weeks, I did only enough housework to keep from causing any of us to have to go naked or hungry.  I fulfilled only the committments I had to or felt convicted to.  And because it helps with anxiety, bad attitudes, and frustrations too, I read the Bible.  A lot.

I have a relatively new Bible that my husband bought me as a gift just a few months ago.  It's a New Living Translation.  I know some people prefer more 'accurate' translations or 'traditional' translations, but I really enjoy the NLT.   I like it because it reads almost literally the way I would talk.  It's easy to comprehend.  Prior to that, I had a NIV that I got in high school.  Reading through my new Bible has been like reading a whole new book - things that didn't necessarily 'stick' with me before or stand out do now.  The day after I found out I had mono, I curled up on the couch with my Bible and hot coffee during Kenna's nap time and began reading in 1 Timothy 4.  Verse eight nearly jumped off the page at me:

Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and the life to come.

I was convicted.  If I couldn't work on my physical training, I would work on my spiritual training.  And I did.

It's amazing how faithful God is in His promises to us.  A verse I've come to love in my lifetime is Romans 8:28.  I have seen over and over in my life how God will take a bad time or experience and work it for my good.  He did it again just recently, taking the time I spent sick and without energy for anything to revitalize my spirit, to free me from the chains of my own expectations, to hone my focus, and to refresh my perspective.  I'm not taking my health for granted anymore, and trust me, it's easy to do - it's only when we lose our health and physical abilities that we realize just how precious they are.   Being sick with mono reminded me to be thankful for my health and for what I am able to do, and to stop being frustrated with where I am and what I can't do.  It helped me kick those post-comp blues...eventually!  Mono gave me a  physical timeout that allowed me to focus intensely on my spiritual walk, and I'm better because of that!!  There really is always a silver lining.

I'm healthy now, and back at the grind.   I have more blogs just waiting to be published and I hope you'll come back to read them.

Until then....

TRAIN HARD - LIFT HEAVY - FUEL  YOUR BODY - FEED YOUR FAITH

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Fe: Fueled by Faith

I've been dealing with an injury for a while now.  I have issues with the alignment of my pelvis - one side is rotated forward, and the other is rotated backwards - essentially, it's twisted.  This has caused serious problems with lower body training in the past, but recently, it's gotten worse.  Squatting is not only painful, but nearly impossible to do - the length difference from my right leg to my left impacts my ability to set my feet and sit straight back into a squat.  The pressure and torque on my right knee was more than I could bear, and  I was actually having lower back pain and spasms just a little over a month ago.  I also began experiencing tightness and stiffness through my upper back and neck because of it.    I had seen a chiropractor previously for similar issues, but after 12 weeks of rigorous treatment, I sort of got out of the habit of going.  I didn't feel pain, so I didn't need treatment...or so I thought.

I sought chiropractic care again after having back spasms for the first time.  I'm seeing my regular chiropractor again now, but the chiropractor I initially saw the first several weeks of treatment suggested yoga.  The tightness of my muscles, combined with my muscular development over the past few months (Thanks, Layne!!), really exacerbated my condition.    Obviously, and shamefully - I'm incredibly UNflexible.  My hamstrings are always tight - have been since I was a child - and my hip flexors stay tight as well.  In the past I haven't dedicated nearly as much time to flexibility and stretching in my training as I should have.  The mere thought of taking a yoga class - surrounded by women with who were sure to have flexibility matched only by Gumby - gave me sweaty palms and an elevated heart rate. I opted instead to incorporate serious corrective exercise into my training, along with stretching and foam roller work.

In the weeks since I've been seeking treatment, I've seen improvement, although I'm nowhere near 100% yet.  Dealing with an physical limitation of this caliber has really opened my eyes, though, and has been a blessing in disguise of sorts.   See, my goal has always been to be a well-rounded athlete - to not simply LOOK the part of health and fitness but to actually perform like a healthy, fit athlete.  I realized that I have really neglected some of the parts of physical training - flexibility, obviously, but also endurance and functional aspects  - that serve to make me well-rounded.  That alone is shameful to me.  I also realized that part of the reason I have neglected these aspects is FEAR.  I have been fueled by FEAR.  I was afraid of taking a yoga class.  I was afraid of tackling endurance sports.  That is incredibly shameful to me, and hard for me to admit, especially as a woman of faith.

In 1 Corinthians 6, Paul enumerates a list of qualities and character traits that, if possessed, will prevent a person from inheriting the Kingdom of God.  He includes thieves, greedy people, drunks, abusive people, and those who cheat others, to name a few.  He follows this list by saying, "Some of you were once like that.  But you were cleansed; you were made holy; you were made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the spirit of our God."  (1 Cor 6:11 NLT, emph added.)   You see, at the time, these were the traits people were struggling with - the things of their former selves.  Each of us, individually, has traits that we struggled with before we were made new in Christ.  For me, the person I once was like was insecure, discontent, lonely, and motivated by fear.  I can honestly say I that while I still battle insecurity at times, I am no longer suffocated with the feeling of inadequacy that used to weigh me down.  I have learned to be content, no matter my situation, and I'm never lonely.  I didn't realize until recently, however, that I was still struggling with one of the traits of my former self - fear.   That's a trademark of the person I was once.  It's not a trait of the person I am today.

Once I realized this, I knew I had to change it.  When I don't like something in my life, that's what I do.  I change it.  I don't wait for Monday, next week, or next month.  I start immediately.   This is no different - if anything, there's a certain urgency to this because I want to throw off the things of my former self and step out into the woman God created me to be.

After a lot of prayer and thought about how to change this, I decided to embark on a year-long journey of trying new fitness-related things.  2 Timothy 1:7 is one of my favorite scriptures.  It tells us, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline" (NLT).  I have leaned on this countless times, and I am leaning on it now.  I am NOT FEARFUL.  I am NOT TIMID.   I am POWERFUL. I am LOVING.  I am DISCIPLINED.  I'm calling my journey Fe:  Fueled by Faith.  It's a reminder to me of what drives me each day:  I will not be guided by fear.  I will step outside of my comfort zone, and I will be guided by faith.

To hold myself accountable, and to also inspire other women, I'm making my journey public.  I realize I'm not the only woman to be held back by fear of failure, fear of embarrassment, fear of judgment, and fear of inadequacy.   Each month, I'll pick a new activity that I've never done before and I'll do it at least once a week...and I'm inviting you to do it with me!!  Now, this is the really exciting part:  instead of waiting for January of 2014, I'm starting now!! This month, I'm tackling yoga.  I started at home the week after Gateway Naturals, and I actually really enjoy it.  I'm not any good at it - yet! - but it's definitely helped with my stiffness.   Maybe someday, I'll have Gumby-like flexibility, too, but that would just be an awesome bonus.  For now, yoga is different.  I'm a very passive person by nature, and the gym is an outlet for my aggression.  Yoga is the polar opposite of aggressive - it's passive, and relaxing.  Obviously, I'm going to continue training in the gym with weights - that's my passion!!  The things I do for Fueled by Faith will just complement my training schedule.

Some of my other prospects for fitness include taking local classes (kickboxing classes, cardio classes, spin classes, you name it!), biking, swimming - anything.  If it scares me when I think of trying it, it definitely has to go on the list!

Here's the fun part:  I'm open to suggestions!  Email me or comment below with your suggestions for activities to try, and let me know if you're sharing the  faith-fueled journey with me!

Come back in a few days to hear about my latest adventure as a yogini.  Until then...

TRAIN HARD - LIFT HEAVY - FUEL YOUR BODY - FEED YOUR FAITH

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Winner Winner Chicken Dinner!!

Alright...as promised, I had no posts between announcing I was competing and actually competing.  I did even better...I didn't post the whole week after I competed!!   I am long overdue for an update!

I placed first in both the Bikini Tall Novice division and the Bikini Tall Open division.  I didn't take top two in the overall, but I seriously couldn't be happier with the entire experience.  I finally feel like I've found my fit - competing in the NANBF was like coming home for me.  In the words of my coach, it's an entirely different vibe.  When I compete again, NANBF is where I'll be stepping on stage!

I've always wanted little statues!!! FINALLY!!!

With a new friend, Pristine, backstage.

This was, without a doubt, my most rewarding competition experience so far.  I enjoyed the people, I enjoyed the venue, I enjoyed the well-run show...but more than that, I enjoyed the journey to the stage.  I was honest in my last blog entry that my prep to Team U hadn't been ideal for me.  I didn't live the Christ-centered life that I've committed to, and it really bothered me.  This time around, I did the very best I could, even if I felt at times that was less than what I had done previously.  I spent less time posing this go-round, but more time with my family.  I spent less time fretting over my physique and more time with my women in my lifegroup tackling the journey that is life.  That's not to say that I didn't spend time or effort on my prep or getting ready for this show...I just managed to keep my priorities in line.  The truth is, y'all, I can do it on my own but I will always fall short of perfection.  I can do all things through Jesus, who gives me strength, though, and he never fails.  He makes up for my imperfections and shortcomings.  I made a conscious decision to give it to God.  Keeping sight of that, and stepping on stage knowing that I was happy and proud of what I'd done to get there and that I had done all I was capable of doing, made this one of the highlights of my competing history.

You may be asking what's next for me.  You can get in line behind my husband, coach, family, and friends.  HAHA!!  No, seriously though...I have some ideas but nothing is set in stone yet.  I'm about as indecisive as they come.  I took the entire week off from lifting last week, although I was mindful of my macros and what I ate.  I am still rehabbing an injury and expect to spend the next seven weeks just working on corrective exercise, treatment, and altered training in order to get back to 110%.  At that time, I'll  know whether heavy squat work is in the picture for me again, and if it is...it's time to lift heavy stuff again!! If it isn't...then there will be an altered training plan.  No matter what happens though, know that I will be training!!  Until then, I'm enjoying growing in my faith walk, time with my husband, daughter, family, and friends, investing some time in my business and lifegroup, and soaking up every second I have in this life.

I do have some things up my sleeve, and they're coming quickly.  Expect another blog post this week to learn about some big plans for 2014 and to hear about what fuels me.

Until then...

TRAIN HARD - LIFT HEAVY - FEED YOUR BODY - FUEL YOUR FAITH

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A Revelation

I promised earlier this week a post about why I've been so hit-and-miss.  I think in order to explain that, I have to talk a little bit about balance.

I'm not any different than any other person in the world.  I wear many hats - too many at times, I'm sure - and I have to find a way to strike balance between all my roles in order to be fulfilled and satisfied and not be neurotic and crazy.   I'm a woman who has a personal relationship with Jesus; a wife, a mother, a lifegroup leader, a personal fitness & nutrition professional, a friend, household manager, I enjoy working out, and recently, I've come to love repurposing furniture and improving the interior design of my home.  I also only have 24 hours in each day, 7 days per week, and 52 weeks per year.

Balance is important!!

Some of the ways I have found to strike balance include limiting my social media interaction time, as well as limiting my involvment.  I have only a FB account.  I don't Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, or even use Pinterest anymore.  I have to wake up early, know what my priorities are for the day, and be purposeful.  Some days I'm an awesome mom.  Some days, I'm an awesome lifegroup leader and wife and my mom role isn't as good as it could be.  Some days, I'm focused on resting and recharging my batteries at home with Kenny and Kenna, and I let everything else slide until I'm ready to tackle it.  Some days, I'm Wonder Woman and I do it all.  (Coincidentally, those are the days I collapse into bed and hit snooze four times the next day.)

No matter what, though, I know what my priorities are each day:  spending quiet time with Christ, spending purposeful quality time with Kenny and Kenna, and spending my one hour per day in my therapy, the gym.  Depending on what's going on in life, I tend to cram a lot more in than just these few things, but these are the non-negotiables in my life.

Now that you have a little bit of understanding as to the balance of my life, I can explain why I've been posting less than regularly here.

I'm 9 days away from my second (and last) bodybuilding show of the year. 

Prepping for a show is time-consuming.  Training, cardio, posing, food prep, and all the little details that you have to sort out must be a priority.  When you commit to a show, you commit to doing these things regardless of what life might throw at you.  As a result, certain things in my life (like posting to this blog) have become less important to me than they were just a few short weeks ago.

In the past, I've always announced that I'm training for a show.  I didn't this time, and I have several reasons as to why I didn't.  First, I know several people in my church are uncomfortable or dislike my hobby.  While I could not give two flips as to their opinion of me, I choose to be respectful of them and not flaunt my hobby in their faces.  I also made the decision to compete in a different federation this go-round.  I wanted to stay quiet about my decision until I'd informed my friends at the local NPC board, because I do have a long relationship with them.

My last two reasons to remain quiet are also the most important.  I am FELICIA, who competes.  I am NOT the COMPETITOR Felicia.  I do not want to be defined by what I do.  I also want people to know that you can do this with balance, and that it doesn't have to consume you.   I have continued to eat healthy foods, have treats in moderation, and train consistently and intensely.  It is my lifestyle.   It is not a twelve week journey to the stage that strains relationships, restricts food groups, and causes my social life to become extinct.

The last reason I remained quiet about this prep is that I needed to have balance.  In my quest to prepare for Team Universe earlier this year, I lost sight of everything but competing in the final three weeks.  I was so focused on being incredible on stage and winning that I forgot about being incredible in the day-to-day moments.  My relationships with my husband, daughter, friends, and yes...even Christ...they all suffered.  Prep became my number one priority.  My strained relationship with my husband, combined with a serious case of burnout from taking on too much, even caused me to step away from my lifegroup ladies for a few weeks.  I stepped on stage in NJ looking better than I ever have in my life...but behind the hard body was a life that was less than ideal.  I'm ashamed that I allowed myself to be so consumed by something so trivial, but  I'm proud to say that this time, Christ has remained number one, followed closely by Kenny and Kenna, with everything else falling into place behind those top priorities.

As a result of my decision to prep in secret, this was the hardest prep of my life.  Let me explain that:  cardio and training and eating were easy.  Not allowing prep to become number one, and retaining my priorities as they were before starting prep - THAT was hard.

I haven't been perfect this prep.  I was as close to perfection as a human can possibly be in the Team U prep.  I didn't miss a macro or give less than 110% in a training session.  This time, I've been over on my macros and under a few times, too.  I've been crunched for time in training, I've suffered injuries in training, and I've felt ho-hum at times about this show.  I have made every effort to make progress, though, and to be consistent and committed to my goals, and I'm incredibly excited about the package I'm bringing to the NANBF St. Louis Gateway Naturals on October 5th.   That hasn't stopped me, though, from feeling guilty about not "living to compete" these past 7 weeks or so.

Last Friday, during BFR training on leg day, I was reminded that I need Christ in my life.  I need Him to make up the difference between what is expected of me and what I'm capable of.  In some quiet time earlier this week, God spoke to me.  He reassured me that my feelings of inadequacy and anxiety about being prepared to compete because I hadn't "lived for prep" were deceptive.  I had done what He had asked of me.  I lived my life with God first this time, and that is what matters.  I needed Jesus more times than I can count in this prep, and because I've stayed close to him and kept him first, I've made it through in a way that has left my life full and blessed.  Those guilty feelings have been laid to rest, and I'm feeling incredibly calm and ready to tackle a new stage and a new federation in just a few short days.

I can't promise you that I'll post between now and then.  I can promise you, though, that I'll have some awesome photos and stories to share when I get back from STL.  Until then...

TRAIN HARD - LIFT HEAVY - FUEL YOUR BODY - FEED YOUR FAITH

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Perseverance, Pain, and Trials of Many Kinds

Hey y'all...long time, no entry!  So sorry.  I'll post more about my hit-and-miss habits this week.  Until then - I just want to give a heartfelt apology.  I have had lots of thoughts to share, but not enough time to sit down and get them out in an organized, publish-able fashion.

I've been dealing with an injury.  I have issues with my hips and knees because of alignment problems, and for the past six weeks or so it's really flared up.  After trying to be a tough guy, I finally talked with my coach about it, and we changed up my training.  The pain was so bad towards the end that I couldn't get my feet "set" to squat and couldn't push my hips back into a squat.  I love training legs, and squatting is a staple in leg day.  I knew when it got to that point, something had to give.   I'm currently seeing a chiropractor, and doing some intense stretching and SMR (foam rolling).  None of it is pleasant, but I anticipate I'll be squatting heavy weights again in no time.

The protocol I'm using is called blood flow restriction (BFR) or occlusion training.  It is hands-down the most painful thing I've ever attempted in the gym.  If you're interested in learning more about BFR, you can read Layne's article here.  In the meantime, let me give you a little walk-through in the form of pictures.  These are from my workout Friday.  Don't mind the goldfish on the floor or the toys in the background.  I'm a stay home mom who gets a workout in whether or not Kenna is sleeping.  Sometimes, that means goldfish and toys while I'm doing my thing!  In pushing past my own perceptions of pain thresholds, I learned a little something about life, and remembered why I came to love training in the first place.

BEFORE

After the first set

After the second set

After the final set

If you know anything about weight lifting and the "pump", you know this was PAINFUL.  If I'm completely honest with you, I wanted to quit so badly halfway through the first set that I was speaking Scriptures out loud to finish.  I rested between sets and loosened the wraps, and every part of my body (but especially my thighs) was screaming, "Just rip the wraps off and go inside!".  But...I didn't.  I tightened those wraps back up and went back to work, forcing more blood into the already-full, already-screaming muscles.  I rested again, resisted the urge the cry like a baby, and finished with a final set.  I didn't die like I thought I might, and I'll be better in the long run because I had the discipline and courage to push through and finish.

I was reflecting on this later as I laid in my living room floor, wondering how I would accomplish all I had left to do that afternoon on legs that worked about as well as the legs of a newborn giraffe.  A lot of times, life is exactly like my training session was that day.  I knew after the first set that I was about to not only create some incredible pain, but also endure incredible pain.  I also knew that if I desired to a better form of Felicia at some point in the future, I had to push through the pain and discomfort.  I couldn't give in to emotions and quit.  I couldn't rip the wraps off, throw my hands up, and say, "I'm done."  Not if I wanted to be a better form of me, anyway.

Life is like that, too.  Everyday we face situations that are uncomfortable or painful.  We can choose to take a deep breath, brace ourselves, and face the discomfort head-on, or we can throw our hands up and walk away.  I've discovered in my life that God shapes me and grows me most in times of discomfort.  In James, it is written "Blessed (happy, to be envied) is the man who is patient under trials and stands up under temptation, for when he has stood the test and been approved, he will receive [the victor's] crown of life which God promised to those who love Him" (James 1:12 AMP).  Paul writes many times in the NT of enduring hardships.  Those circumstances are used to shape us and teach us about life.  If I want to be a better form of me emotionally and spiritually - if I choose to MATURE in life - I'm going to have to choose to endure the trials and the pain.

Friday's gym session reminded me of why I found myself in love with lifting years ago:  it reminds me of just how strong I am, both physically and emotionally.  Discovering my physical strength began a journey of discovering my inner strength, and I have been surprised at the depths of both.  In recent years, it has reminded me of just how much I must lean on Jesus to carry me through a trying time.  I needed Jesus Friday.  I needed to remember that even when I think I can't, even when I'm nearly sure I can't, I can through Jesus Christ in ALL THINGS.  I needed that reminder in the gym, and I needed that reminder in life.  I'll be sharing more on that later this week.

Until then...

TRAIN HARD - LIFT HEAVY - FUEL YOUR BODY - FEED YOUR FAITH

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A True Story of Wisdom & Compassion

Hey ya'll!!  Life has been hectic for me!  I just got back from a mini-vacation with my husband, which is always nice, and I've been investing some time in a few projects around the house (I'm a fall cleaner, not spring!) - add training clients, nutrition and training program planning for clients, my work with my lifegroup, and full-time mom and wife to that, and it doesn't leave much time for anything else.  However, I did manage to find time to sit down this week and finally complete an over-due blog entry!

Some of you may know this already, but I'm coached by the incredible Layne Norton.  In addition to his coaching services, being one of his clients opens the doors to an incredible team of people that he coaches or is affiliated with - Team Norton.  I have some of the best, most encouraging teammates, and it is the closest thing to a "team" I've seen in the fitness industry.

Recently, one of my teammates, Jodie, posed us a question:  If you could go back five years and tell yourself anything, what would it be?

Instantly I thought of the obvious answers - don't use drugs, don't marry your first husband, know your worth, believe in yourself, treat your body well...things that ANYBODY could have told me.  In the days after Jodie posted that question, I couldn't get it out of my mind.  It haunted me.  What would I tell myself?  Not the shallow things.  Not the obvious things...if I could tell myself something, anything, of value, what would I say?

As I sat one evening building castles out of blocks with my little girl, TV blaring mindlessly in the background...I got my answer.  The show "America's Got Talent" was on, and a choir sang Sarah McLachlan's Angel.  That song, in particular, always brings mixed emotions for me.  It had been one of my mother's favorite songs, and she told my sister and me many times she wanted it played at her funeral.   We honored her request.  I haven't been able to listen to it since...until last week. As I sat there, mindlessly stacking blocks, I listened to the words and felt as if I was hearing the lyrics for the first time.

My mom struggled with many things.  She was in an car accident at 19 that burned her over 90% of her body with third degree burns and killed her best friend; the emotional trauma and resulting scars would erode her already low self-esteem away to nothing.  She battled drug and alcohol addiction most of her life.  I believe she was sober when she married my father, and probably remained so for about a decade.  When she began a long, dark fight against mental illness, I believe the sobriety ended.  She had more doctors than one person needed - a psychiatrist, a PCP, and eventually, because of back issues, a pain doctor and a surgeon.  All of them were prescribing pills...and my mom was abusing them.

I have felt many things for my mother.  Anger, frustration, rage, irritation, embarrassment, hatred - yes, hatred - and rarely...love.  But that night, sitting in the floor with my own daughter and knowing the love I feel for her, listening to the lyrics of that song...I realized my mom had LIVED LIFE.  Life had not been kind to her.  It had beaten her down, pushed her back, thrown her challenge after challenge...and she did not give up.  She had her vices, but she NEVER gave up.  I know in my heart my mother loved me, but she was not perfect - nobody is.  She made mistakes.  In that moment, I could hear God telling me what I would tell myself five years ago:

"Love your mother for who and what she is, and stop hating her for who and what she isn't." 

What it boils down to is compassion.  I should have been compassionate.

I should have chosen to be understanding of what she was struggling with and the battles she fought in life instead of focusing on all her shortcomings.  I should have understood that her shortcomings were directly related to the struggles and battles.   I should have been compassionate.

In the book of Matthew, Chapter 14 begins by recounting the death of John the Baptist.  Matthew writes, "As soon as Jesus heard the news, he left in a boat to a remote area to be alone.  But the crowds heard where he was headed and followed on foot from many towns. Jesus saw the huge crowd as he stepped from the boat, and he had compassion on them and healed their sick." (Matthew 14:13-14, emph. added).

Think about that for just a minute.  Jesus's friend has died - brutally beheaded - and he is trying to slip away and grieve in peace.  I'm sure he wanted to sit in quiet, to pray, to remember his friend.  When he stepped out of the boat, he could have been irritated with these people who needed him to heal their sick, their lame, and their blind - he could have been angry that they bothered him when all he wanted to was to be alone.  His response is astonishing.  He heals their sick.  He helps the people that most would have considered a bother.  In the midst of his own pain and grief, he shows them compassion.

I can't go back and re-do my relationship with my mother.  I will never get those years back, and truthfully, I don't know that there will be a day that goes by that I don't struggle with the guilt and regret of the way things played out between us.  I can use what God has shown me and taught me in the past two weeks, though, to not make the same mistakes going forward.   I can't whisper to a 22-year-old me the wisdom that can be gained only by living life...but I can hang on to that wisdom going forward.  I will CHOOSE to be compassionate with people in my life, in spite of my own emotions or circumstances and regardless of how they've treated me.  I will CHOOSE to love the people in my life for who they are and for what they are and I will CHOOSE to see the good in people, even when there seems to be no good left.

I hope you do the same.

Until next time...

TRAIN HARD - LIFT HEAVY - FUEL YOUR BODY - FEED YOUR FAITH

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Rockin' the Bikini

Happy Labor Day weekend, friends!!

Hopefully, this weekend finds you celebrating with friends and family.  For me and my little family, it's going to be very laid-back.  Homemade ranch dip with Greek yogurt, sliced garden-fresh veggies, turkey brats, and some yummy grilled shrimp are on the menu for us tonight while we watch UFC 164.  Tomorrow, I'll be poolside...inflatable 24-inch poolside, that is, with my little girl!

Maybe you're going to be poolside, too, or even better, relaxing at the lake or the beach.    This holiday weekend closes out the summer season for many of us, and it gave me the perfect opportunity to talk about something that has been on my heart for a while now:  the bikini.

At the beginning of the summer, my FB newsfeed was bombarded with Christian blogs and articles about swimwear.  I think the one that stuck with me the most was one that referenced a verse in Matthew:  "But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart."  (5:28 NLT).  This particular blog went on to emphasis the use of the word "with" and say that while the man looking a woman in bikini is responsible for his sin - lust -, that by wearing a bikini, a woman has committed a sin as well - that she had sinned with the man.  The author said she found bikinis cute, but that she didn't wear one because she didn't want to be a stumbling block for others.

While I respect her opinion and convictions, I have to be honest.  I wear a bikini every time I get in the water.  I have a long torso, and one piece suits just creep up in all the wrong places on me.  Tankinis are never long enough, and monokinis just aren't my thing.  It's a matter of comfort, but also of fashionable preference.  I feel better about my presentation in a bikini - not more attractive, just simply like I have a more put-together, flattering appearance.  And in the interest of truth, ladies, let's be real:  if we don't feel good about the way we look, we don't feel good about ourselves.   So today, I'm taking a minute to take an approach some Christian women are going to shake their heads at:  I'm encouraging my female audience to ROCK THAT BIKINI this weekend.

Over the course of the summer, I've thought about the afore-mentioned blog several times.  Each time, I got increasingly irritated.  Not once did I feel convicted to wear a one piece or, even better, a full length scuba suit, to the pool.  I just felt condemned for my personal choices.   I also began to think about that use of Matthew 5:28...if a woman wears a slim fitting, sleeveless dress that covers her from neck to knee at church, a man can still look at her with lust in his heart.  Does that make her sinful?  I can wear jeans and a tee shirt and a man can look at me with lust in his heart.  Does THAT make me sinful?   Where do we draw the line?  Why does a bared tummy make a woman sinful but a fully clothed woman is free from that sin when either is capable of creating lustful thoughts in the mind of man?   I was perplexed by this...and angry.  I shouldn't feel ashamed of my body simply because I might cause a man to sin.   By insinuating that one is sinning simply by being the source of a man's lust - something a woman may or may not have intended and may or may not have control over - the author creates undue shame and self-reproach in Christian women everywhere.

I think the core of this matter is intention.  When a woman wears a bikini to the community pool with the intention of catching the eye of men and creating lustful thoughts, that is completely different than a mom wearing a bikini to the community pool with the intention of playing Marco Polo with her kids.  In 1 Timothy, Paul writes that women should dress modestly, with decency and propriety.  I've had this verse thrown at me more times than I care to count...and as a result,  I've spent some time researching this within the context of the social circumstances and customs at the time Paul wrote the letter.  I believe, ultimately, that what Paul was saying was that women should dress in a way that prevents division and shows respect for the feelings of others.  Don't dress in a way that shows you're wealthy, don't imitate prostitutes (which some of the women in Rome were doing), and don't dress in a way that shows you're of better social stature than others.  Essentially, dress in a way that prevents believers from judging one another when they come together.  Dress nicely.  Take care in your appearance....just don't offend others with your attire.  Take that for what you will in today's society.  Pray about it - talk to God, and act upon your own personal convictions, not the condemnation or feelings of others.

Don't wear a skimpy string bikini to the youth ministry's end-of-summer pool party.  Don't wear a g-string to the family barbecue this weekend.  Don't wear a bikini to the lake if your intention is to create lust in the heart of men.  But girls...don't be ashamed of your bodies because you fear it will create lust and don't feel condemned because you don't feel convicted to wear one piece.   If you can do it with a pure heart, if you're dressed appropriately and have good intentions...wear what you're comfortable in, whether that's a tankini, a high waisted bikini, a one piece, a monokini, scuba suit, a gunny sack, shorts and a tee shirt, or even a good ol' bikini.

Tomorrow, I'm going to catch some sun and splash some water with my little girl, and I plan on rocking a bright pink and orange lace bikini while I'm doing it.  If it's what you decide you want to wear...rock that bikini!

Until next time...

TRAIN HARD - LIFT HEAVY - FUEL YOUR BODY - FEED YOUR FAITH

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Lunk Alarm: Take 2!!

While the sport of physique competitions is not extreme in the sense of putting yourself in dangerous situations (think Shaun White at the X Games), it is extreme in that the individuals participating are working to achieve unnaturally lean physiques.   The look you see on stage is not only an extreme in that sense, but also unsustainable.  That look is generally achieved with a week of careful preparation after an extended period of dieting, and it lasts only a few hours.

The Basics

Well...with a title like "lunk alarm", you have to know we lift heavy things.  And we put them back down.  

I weight train 5x a week.  I have done more or less in the past, and it depends on the type of programming I'm doing and what my goals are.   Weight training is an absolute pillar in physique competitions - it builds and shapes the physique.   For many women, it's through weight training that they decide which division they are best suited for. 

Cardio is also a big part of training for shows.  Unfortunately, it's become widely accepted that doing an hour or more of cardio each day is the only way to get lean enough.  Some people do as much as 2.5 hours a day.  I do not.  My coach - Layne - is incredible.  I currently do cardio 1x/week, and including warm up and cool down, it lasts 22 minutes.   Seriously - who has 2.5 hours EVERY DAY to spare?  Not this momma.  Not now, not ever.  That's not living, it's not balance, and it's not healthy.  

Obviously, a physique competitor follows a nutritional protocol.  This varies widely from competitor to competitor.  Generally speaking, competitors eat a high protein diet and practice great control in carb and fat consumption.  Again - 'broscience' has permeated much of society, and it's generally accepted that in order to compete, one must eat little to no carbs.  That's absolutely not true.  Portion control is necessary, absolutely - but carbs are not the enemy.  Carbs are fuel.    During offseason,  I work to maximize my carb intake.  When I'm dieting, I have lower carb days and higher carb days.  I never go without carbs!   

Some coaches and competitors believe in ketosis diets - no carbs with fat as the primary muscle-sparing fuel.  I don't recommend those diets to my clients, nor anyone else.  

Some coaches write out "meal plans" for their clients, and some allow them to diet flexibly.  I follow flexible dieting.  My coach sets goals for my daily intake of protein, carbs, and fat, and I can eat anything I choose to each day so long as it is within my guidelines.  (This approach is also referred to as "if it fits your macros" or IIFYM.)  I weigh and measure my portions and keep track of everything that goes into my body.  You may have heard someone talk about "clean eating".   This refers to the practice of eating whole, "good" foods and avoiding processed, artificial items.  I eat everything.  Seriously!  Food is neither good nor bad.  I do eat a lot of healthier, whole foods - veggies, fruits, lean meats, etc., but I indulge, too! It's all about moderation.   I recently came across an article that I found very informative regarding "clean eating".  You can read it HERE. 

Supplementation and PED

Physique athletes make up a big business...we're a group of people who buy supplements like they're going out of style.  Want to know a secret?

Most of the supplements out on the market today are JUNK.

I use creatine for muscle growth, whey protein to help me meet my protein needs without eating a boatload of chicken, XTEND for recovery and to help with my sweet tooth, and if I really need a boost, occasionally I'll use Cellucor C4 for a little extra stimulation before a workout.  I also take fish oil and a multivitamin.   

If you want to see changes in your physique, the only thing you really need is to follow proper nutrition program and exercise regularly.  Some trainers and coaches recommend a laundry list of supplements.  That's expensive, and unnecessary.   If you want an in-depth discussion of supplements, you can watch THIS video.  It is a blog from my coach, Layne Norton.  I consider him the absolute best in the industry.

Now to the sensitive subjects: drug use.  Bodybuilding is most often associated with illegal steroid use.  I've even been asked if I am natural.  For the record, I am.  In the early days of my training when I might have considered using a performance enhancing drug or anabolic steroid, I had no idea how to get something like that.  Now that I'm older, I'm sort of infatuated with seeing just how much I'm capable of accomplishing on my own, and I'm proud of being a natural athlete who works hard.  Plus...my husband is not a fan of the side effects in women.  (Google that one.  Not discussing it here!)  If you decide you want to use them, that's great.  Everybody is entitled to their decision.  I don't pass judgement one way or another. 

There are many different drugs used in bodybuilding.  Some drugs promote muscle growth, some help you get lean, some help you shed water.  There are, of course, many reasons besides muscle growth to use - enhanced recovery and improved performance instantly come to mind.   My rule is this:  if you want to assume someone is natural, compete in a natural federation.  Even then, it's a possibility they aren't.  Otherwise, anything goes.  I will say it is more pervasive and widely used than most people realize - it isn't just the bodybuilding division anymore.  Physique, figure, fitness, and yes - even bikini - women in these divisions are using, too. 

At the end of the day, use is a personal decision.  If you're thinking about it and fairly new to this sport, I encourage you to train without drug use for at least a year, just to see what you can do on your own.  Drug use, in my opinion, is something that is best used to augment what you've already achieved.  

So that's it.  The down and dirty basics of physique competing.  I hope it answered some of your questions, and maybe you learned something.  At some point in the future, I'll be bringing an entry about some of the things people don't like to talk about: the nasty side effects of bad coaching and extremism.  Until then...

TRAIN HARD - LIFT HEAVY - FUEL YOUR BODY - FEED YOUR FAITH

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Lunk Alarm!

Have you seen the Planet Fitness commercials about bodybuilders who don't have an ounce of intelligence but tons of muscle?  What about the commercials with the air-head fit girls who think everything is "hot"?  Nothing irritates me more than one of those commercials...except, maybe, someone who believes that is what all physique athletes are like.  

This is a meme that was pretty popular last year, and occasionally, it resurfaces in social media.  Unfortunately, it really couldn't be further from the truth for me!

Sadly, it is also a pretty good representation of what different classes of people think I do.  Since my hobby - bodybuilding - is well stereotyped, I thought I'd take some time this week to break it down for you.  A "women's physique competitions 101", if you will.   Most people truly believe the Planet Fitness ads about women's fitness competitors and bodybuilders.  There are some people who fit the stereotype mold, but isn't that true of anything?   Most of the time, a few 'bad apples' ruin the perception of an entire group of people.  Most people hear "Christian" and think "religious nut".  People hear "southerner" and think "hick".  Don't even get me started on racial stereotypes!

I've started with a few visual examples of the different classes of women's physique competitions.  I will refer to the NPC/IFBB as it is the most well-known federation, but there are other natural and open organizations with different rules, classes, and guidelines.  At this time, there are generally 5 different categories a woman can choose to compete in (in descending order of muscularity and conditioning):

Bodybuilding

Iris Kyle

This is generally what most people think of when they hear "bodybuilding"!

The most muscular women's division;  typically also the driest and most conditioned (lean); no heels worn; mandatory poses plus quarter turns; plain suit at prejudging and adorned suit at finals; 60-90 second posing routine

Physique

Jillian Reville

The newest women's division in most federations.

The seond-most muscular women's division - rules in NPC/IFBB specifically state no striations, ripped, or grainy competitors, but conditioning varies; no heels worn; mandatory poses plus quarter turns; 60-90 second posing routine

Fitness

Oksana Grishina

The fitness routine performed by these ladies is very high-energy, high-impact, and they are incredibly talented. Fitness was the first division introduced after bodybuilding for women.  

Looks very similar to figure, although usually harder/more muscular due to the routines performed; heels worn during 2-piece round with quarter turns; fitness routine with mandatory fitness moves included 

Figure

Candice Keene

This is arguably one of the most popular divisions for women competitors.  It emphasizes shape and development over conditioning and mass.

Less muscular than physique and softer; heels worn during quarter turns

Bikini

India Paulino

This is also arguably the most popular division.  There is no set "look" for this division - muscularity and conditioning varies widely.

The least muscular of all divisions; heels worn; front and back pose only (although often you see "transition poses") with no true "mandatory" stance - anything goes

DISCLAIMER:  For anyone familiar with the IFBB, I have not chosen my favorite athletes nor athletes that I think employee healthy prep methods to represent each division; instead, I chose women who tend to place well each time they compete (for whatever reason) or women that have won recently. 

In each division in the NPC/IFBB, there is a prejudging and a finals show.  For larger shows, prejudging may be one day and finals the next; for smaller shows, they may be separated into morning and evening.  At prejudging, class winners are selected.  At finals, the show is definitely more glammed up for the audience, and class winners are announced and awarded and then judged against one another for overall winners.

The women come out individually initially and present themselves at prejudging.  This is called the "model walk" for figure, fitness, and bikini.  Physique and bodybuilding have the opportunity to present their poses.  Competitors are then brought across the stage in groups to compare physiques.  The judges then "call out" the top competitors (typically 6 women, sometimes more or less) and compare the women during quarter or half turns for symmetry and conditioning.  They will move competitors around to compare them side by side.  (If you're in the audience, it is a good rule of thumb that the women in the center of the first call out have placed first and second.)  Additional callouts will be done until all women are placed.

Group comparison prior to callouts - Battle of the Bodies 2012

Symmetry refers to balance from front to back and top to bottom - is your backside as muscular (developed) and conditioned as your front side?  Is your top as conditioned and developed as your bottom half?  In figure/fitness, physique, and bodybuilding, an "X frame" is sought - wide back/lats, small/narrow waist, and full, developed quads/thighs  (see the two-piece fitness photo of Oksana G. for an idea of X-frame).  In bikini, the shape is much more bottom heavy but curvy - the booty is the star.  At top levels and bigger shows, where physiques are often comparable and incredible, details such as presentation, posing, suit cut and color, jewelry, makeup, tan (yes, TAN) and hair come into play.  The total package - the details - will make you or break you.

Now that I've brought it up...I know you're wondering about that tan!  The stage lights are incredibly bright and can wash out the details of the physique you've worked so hard for - striations, lines, shape, all gone the minute you step under the lights.   Darker skin shows off the cuts, lines, and striations much better.  Competitors apply special tanning products (it ain't your average spray tan, that's for sure) in the hours and days leading up to a show.  (Yes, that's right - days!).  Application processes vary, but each athlete usually applies between 2-5 coats of competition formula tanning product.  You'll also notice some athletes look shiny.  Some of the methods used to prep for stage, combined with a tanning product, dry the skin out.  A glaze or sheen is applied to make the skin look vibrant, not leathery, on stage.  A "shiny" or "oily" appearance isn't desired, but is often seen because of poor application or poor product choice (think cooking spray or baby oil).

Look at that brown girl!! I make my full-blood Indian hubby look like a white boy.  

Hair, makeup, and presentation could be a separate blog entry! I'll give you the quick and dirty for now.   For bodybuilders, hair is worn up.  For everyone else, it's personal preference.  Generally, it's whatever looks best on you and is healthiest looking.  That's what's most important.  Makeup is specialized, too - it must be for stage so it reflects light instead of absorbing it, and you have to be careful about color selection because of the tanning products.   The more, the better.  If you look like a drag queen up close, you probably got it right! It is definitely OVER DONE!  Posing is also crucial.  You can have the best physique on stage, but if you don't present yourself in a way that emphasizes your strengths and downplays your weaknesses, you won't place.

Finally - how do we keep that tiny suit in place?  Well, glue of course!  Most of the time a product called "Bikini Bite" is used to glue bottoms and tops in place.  I have also used Elmer's Fabric Glue for a better staying power...but that stuff removes skin when you unstick it!  I stick with Bikini Bite nowadays.

Preventing "nip slips" nationwide!

So now that you know what we look like on stage and what is ideal for competing, aesthetically...how do we get there?  Those few seconds on stage aren't the norm.  Most competitors grind regularly and celebrate rarely.  The "glam" only lasts for a few hours, but the grind is constant.  Obviously, you don't just wake up ripped to the bone and muscular.  Training and nutrition - particularly NUTRITION! - is crucial to this sport!   The fitness industry has seen a rise in popularity lately, especially with photos of stage-condition physique athletes popping up all over the internet as motivation for every-day fitness.  These competitions are becoming increasingly popular, but this sport is an extreme - if not done properly, it can be hazardous to your physical and emotional health.  The truth is, the look you see on stage is generally unsustainable, and it's achieved by manipulating water, sodium, and sometimes, yes - drug use.

My next blog is all about the journey to the stage!  No holds barred, all truth - the good, the bad, and the ugly.  If you have questions you would like to see answered, please comment below!

I hope you found this informative, and I hope I've piqued your interest enough to have you come back to learn more!  Until then...


TRAIN HARD - LIFT HEAVY - FUEL YOUR BODY - FEED YOUR FAITH

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