Midway through October, I got sick. I couldn't kick it - it kept me down a week and I just wasn't getting any better, and my throat was killing me. After a doctor's visit and some labwork, I was diagnosed with mono. I knew I had been tired, but I wasn't sleeping as much, I had a lot of obligations, and in general, life was a little hectic - so I dismissed being tired as a lifestyle factor. What I didn't know about mono until that day is that it actually causes inflammation of your spleen, and in order to keep it from bursting, I was ordered no contact sports and no heavy lifting - iron or otherwise.
Now, if I'm being honest, I was already in a little funk. A lot of women struggle with "post comp blues", for various reasons, and I'm one of them. I don't suffer terribly from it, but there is usually a two week period where I struggle to find new balance. Training volume usually decreases, and I have to find new ways to fill my time and rebalance my schedule; you do come down from all those endorphins eventually, and when you do, after the excitement wears off and you don't have another goal to pursue or chase, you find yourself...a little blue. I'm still unable to squat, and that frustrates me. I enjoy squatting. I enjoy heavy lifting. And I expect to be able to do it. Modified training is hard - don't get me wrong, I'm not taking away from the intensity of what I'm currently doing, but it just isn't the same for me. And I expect more of my body than to be injured and remain that way for so long, especially with proper care and treatment. It was a disappointing start to my offseason, to say the least.
The news that I couldn't lift caused my disappointment-heavy heart to sink faster than a lead balloon. I expect to be able to workout - I mean, even if I can't squat, a workout is a workout! And my workout is my outlet for aggression, my endorphin-boosting attitude adjustment, my frustration killer. It's the only thing I've ever found to curb my anxiety. And I wouldn't be able to for ten days, minimum - but maybe even longer.
Needless to say, I was a little worried. Being physically inactive makes me restless, irritable, and anxious. Not real pleasant for my little family, and not a happy way to exist. I went home that afternoon from the doctor and took up residence on the couch. Over the next two weeks, I did only enough housework to keep from causing any of us to have to go naked or hungry. I fulfilled only the committments I had to or felt convicted to. And because it helps with anxiety, bad attitudes, and frustrations too, I read the Bible. A lot.
I have a relatively new Bible that my husband bought me as a gift just a few months ago. It's a New Living Translation. I know some people prefer more 'accurate' translations or 'traditional' translations, but I really enjoy the NLT. I like it because it reads almost literally the way I would talk. It's easy to comprehend. Prior to that, I had a NIV that I got in high school. Reading through my new Bible has been like reading a whole new book - things that didn't necessarily 'stick' with me before or stand out do now. The day after I found out I had mono, I curled up on the couch with my Bible and hot coffee during Kenna's nap time and began reading in 1 Timothy 4. Verse eight nearly jumped off the page at me:
Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and the life to come.
I was convicted. If I couldn't work on my physical training, I would work on my spiritual training. And I did.
It's amazing how faithful God is in His promises to us. A verse I've come to love in my lifetime is Romans 8:28. I have seen over and over in my life how God will take a bad time or experience and work it for my good. He did it again just recently, taking the time I spent sick and without energy for anything to revitalize my spirit, to free me from the chains of my own expectations, to hone my focus, and to refresh my perspective. I'm not taking my health for granted anymore, and trust me, it's easy to do - it's only when we lose our health and physical abilities that we realize just how precious they are. Being sick with mono reminded me to be thankful for my health and for what I am able to do, and to stop being frustrated with where I am and what I can't do. It helped me kick those post-comp blues...eventually! Mono gave me a physical timeout that allowed me to focus intensely on my spiritual walk, and I'm better because of that!! There really is always a silver lining.
I'm healthy now, and back at the grind. I have more blogs just waiting to be published and I hope you'll come back to read them.
Until then....
TRAIN HARD - LIFT HEAVY - FUEL YOUR BODY - FEED YOUR FAITH
F
Bless you and thank you for sharing!!!:)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Pamela!
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